I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
