found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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