Christians are straight up FREAKS
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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