P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
