I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
