So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
