I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
