matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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