Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize