Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize