I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
