it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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