addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
True college students do jello shots in the library
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
