a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize