Will you blow on my dice?
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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