I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
