Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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