im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize