yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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