im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
