yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
