Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
