I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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