she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize