hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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