Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
When are your genitals available?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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