After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
they're like a gay fantastic four
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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