i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
