okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
