HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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