im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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