I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
