did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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