I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
