what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
