I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
