I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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