We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
All I want is dick and wine.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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