Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
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