How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
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