she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
