38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
