Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize