Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
