What did we do last night that was yellow?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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