I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
