She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
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