i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
