Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
