I think my vagina is haunted
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
