Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
