so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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