Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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