I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize