So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
