she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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