Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
