fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
