Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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