Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
No subtext here. People are naked.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
