I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Betty ford says i'm here all night
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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