What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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