Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
She made me pour olive oil on her.
A+ Viking dick
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
